02/03/2012 - The Dalai Lama contacts Joe, employee at DRB, and asks for good Facebook quotes and advice on how to be more at one with himself.

02/03/2012 - Apple announces that the release of the iPhone 5 will be further delayed, pending plans to first release the iPhone 4.5, floowed by the iPhone 4.5S and the iPhone 4.5S2.

02/03/2012 - In a strange twist of fate, Jordan, employee at DRB, meets her celebrity crush (Paul Reubens of Pee Wee Herman fame), and spends a night partying with him and his entourage in numerous South Beach nightclub VIP lounges.

02/03/2012 - On a recent fact-finding mission, Sean Penn, famous actor and avid do-gooder, pays millions of dollars to exhume Abraham Lincoln's body for a second autopsy, proving that all historical accounts of his assassination are true.

01/13/2012 - On a recent fact-finding mission, Sean Penn, famous actor and avid do-gooder, travels to Egypt and takes photo of himself in front of the Pyramids of Giza, to prove they do in fact exist.

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